Sitting at my laptop with a steaming cup of Cafe du Monde coffee with coconut milk in my hands, the message waiting in my DMs roused me before the caffeine even had a chance to hit my system!
“Dear Mx Babalon,
I would love a vid with you playing as a Succubus or a witch casting a spell, maybe an evil scientist scrambling my brain and mindfucking me into becoming more and more horny and suggestible. Whatever sounds most fun to you! My major requests in any scenario are: 1) Theme is sinister and sensual, psychological thriller rather than erotic Torment. I get really turned on by the femme fatale taunting my impending fate plainly and often, playing with the tension between aching to cum and longing to live, wickedly enjoying my fear boner betraying me 2) Orgasm is hands free and the direct cause of my doom; mysterious pleasure overload, psychosomatic, no mention of realistic/medical causes. 3) No countdowns”
It was my first Executrix request… and I surprise myself at how excited I got about it!
What is an Executrix?
Buckle up, I love linguistics, we're going on a ride (but don't worry the kinky stuff is close at hand). If you look up the dictionary definition of "executrix" you won't find anything about leather or spandex clad femme fatales roleplaying super-villains or evil nurses. However, the definition does still have to do with death, in a way that just tickles my gothic heart with dark humor
ex·ec·u·trix
noun (LAW)
a female executor of a will.
The executor of a will is, of course, the person appointed by a testator (the deceased) to carry out the terms of their will. Being an executor can also refer to a person who produces something or puts something into effect, as in "the makers and executors of policy". It also shares the same root as "executive" because to "execute" means "to carry out" (from the Latin exequi, told you I'm nerd for language). So an Executor, or in this case, an Executrix (-trix being a feminizing suffix similar to, but somewhat less known than, -ess.) is a person of power.
For me, all of this linguistic geekery brings up film noir-esque imagery of perpetually-in-mourning-while-looking-fabulous widows whose husbands have "disappeared" under mysterious circumstance. Think Debbie Jellinsky, Joan Cusak's blonde bombshell black widow in "Addams Family Values", Madonna's Rebecca Carlson in "Body of Evidence" or for a truly hilarious take on the trope, Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White in “CLUE”. They are all bloodthirsty babes and merry murderesses, and they look good while being so very bad!
The Executrix Fantasy (on some sites Executrixxx) is a role play fantasy about being "doomed" or "ended" by a beautiful, powerful woman.
But why, you may ask, would anyone eroticize and want to role play getting un-alived?! The Executrix fantasy is one that might be considered a form of Edge Play. We’re playing with elements of the shadow, or are darker part of the subconscious. So, it's important to set clear boundaries, limitations, and perhaps tune extent even examine what your motivations are. This is true for for any kink and is even more imperative with an edgier topic like this one.
Eroticism and Death or Danger have had a long-time association. Roman deities Venus and Mars (the god of war) had a passionate love affair. Sigmund Freud (granddaddy of psychoanalysis and phallus obsessed cigar-fetishist) wrote in his 1920 essay Beyond the Pleasure Principle about Eros and Thanatos. He attributed them (Love and Death) as our two prime drives or motivators. The power over life and death is one of the things that makes vampires so appealing. The same could also true for nurses. (I could write a whole other piece on sexy nurses and I probably will at some point)
Putting your life into the hands of another can be seen as the ultimate form of power exchange and surrender. Its not about wanting to die but wanting to completely give yourself over to another person, sensation, or an experience. For some, the thrill could be the dance with the danger. While for another it can be a way to process shame by receiving the penultimate punishment. It’s no wonder that the French slang term for organs is le petit mort “the little death”
How to play it out
There are a number of ways to play out this fantasy. It is such a hot fantasy, it's perfect for in-person, over the phone, live video and recorded video options. Alhough its is a form of Shadow Play it does not always be super serious or even scary. The executrix fantasy is often played out in a way that is fun, lighthearted, or even campy.
Let's break down as scene
We'll my favorite tool from a high school English class: the Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why building blocks!
"Who" is the roles are you playing. Who is the executrix? Is she a comic book super villain? Does she have magic or psychic powers? Maybe she is a hit-woman for the mob. Who are you, yourself? A captured hero? An unfortunate, doomed human sacrifice?
What - What am I going to do to you? Am I going to seduce you first? Am I going to torture you? Are you going to resist or be passive? Is it going to be pleasurable or painful? Am I going to hypnotize or mesmerize you?
The When and Where for this is a little loosey-goosey, I'll admit. "When" can be a part of the immersion of your role-play. Where is, of course, the setting. Are you in someone's lair, their house, in a basement? Is it some time in the past or may be is it a futuristic, perhaps, a dystopian government facility.
And How? What will cause your ultimate end? Will it be when you climax, the elusive “deathgasm”? Poison, heart failure. Something realistic or medical? Or perhaps something wildly fanciful!
And lastly, perhaps most important, is the "Why". Why am I doing this to you? Is it for my own pleasure? Do you crave some form of punishmet? Are you a brave martyr? Am I sacrificing you on an altar to a deity? Perhaps I am the deity and or magical being and I need to feed off you!
I went into my first executrix fantasy scene in a little surprised and turned on simultaneously. Since then, I've had several more requests and I've discovered that I truly love this fetish.
Are you a provider like me considering scenarios like this? Are you buyer wondering about how to request femme fatale content? What did you learn about this kink?
You can find my executrix scenes on my clip stores and you can always reach out for a custom order.
I’m so glad to have happened upon your blog… I actually requested that custom! Thrilled to know my request was the first of its kind for you, and to have had the privilege of learning how fascinating you’ve found the themes! I knew you’d said you enjoyed the project but I had no idea you’d become THIS intrigued by executrix fetishism. I love that you picked apart the psychology:
“Putting your life into the hands of another can be seen as the ultimate form of power exchange and surrender. Its not about wanting to die but wanting to completely give yourself over to another person, sensation, or an experience. For some, the thrill could be the dance with the danger. While for another it can be a way to process shame by receiving the penultimate punishment.”
That is the most insightful analysis!! I’m so grateful to find out how stimulating and thought provoking you found working on it. It turned out GREAT–and learning about your reaction to reading the request and exploration of the idea has made it that much better for me!!!
If not for the increasingly random and unevenly applied censorship on IWC I’d probably have requested another custom by now…