Welcome to my Kinky Glossary! A List of common words and phrases used in the BDSM and Fetish communities to describe a variety of activities, identities and more.
This is by no means a complete or fully inclusive list. This will likely be a living document with continued updates and additions.
Aftercare: Emotional and/or physical support given after a BDSM scene. May include cuddling, petting, making love, discussing the scene, sharing a meal or any other activity that helps the participants “come down” and stay connected.
Adult Baby: An individual that engages in age-regressive role play, taking on attributes and mannerisms of a human infant. May or may not also be a Diaper Fetishist.
Bondage: The act of restraining a submissive; also refers to the materials used. Rope, handcuffs, bondage tape, silk scarves, and more.
Bottom: The receptive/passive partner in sex and/or BDSM activities. May or may not be submissive and/or masochistic.
Consent: To give permission or agreement for something to happen or to be done. A central theme to BDSM.
Crop: Riding Crop, a stingy impact tool consisting of a short slender, flexible shaft (typically wound with leather or similar fabric) ending in a folded leather tongue known as a keeper. Originally used in horseback riding, fanciful ones can be found with embellished handles or tips in fun shapes like a rose, hand, or star.
Diaper Fetish: A fetish for wearing (or being made to wear) diapers. May or may not coincide with Adult Baby roleplay.
Discipline: Behavior of a submissive as trained and expected by a Dominant. Also punishment and correction administered by the Dominant when submissive fails in proper behavior.
Dominant: One who enjoys experiencing and employing control. (syn: Dom, Domme, Dominatrix, Mistress)
Edging: Repeatedly stimulating oneself or partner to the literal edge or climax without allowing release. Also see Gooning
Fetish/Fetishism: Sexual response to items, clothing, body parts or behaviors that are not innately sexual. Not all Fetishists practicing BDSM, not all BDSMers are fetishists; however there is a large crossover.
Flagellation: Erotic activities that include striking someone with an tailed implement (flogger, bullwhip, dragon tail, etc)
Flogger: A multi-tailed whip with long flat tails. Typically made of leather or other flexible material.
Impact: Erotic activities that include striking someone with or without an implement. See Flagellation
Kink: Unconventional sexual practices. An umbrella term for BDSM and Fetish activities and community. Determining what is “kinky” is highly subjective.
Masochist: One who eroticizes receiving pain. This can be physical, emotional or psychological.
Munch: A non-erotic gathering (often at a coffeehouse or restaurant) for BDSMers to socialize and meet one another.
Negotiation: Pre-play discussion to create boundaries and decided what kind of play will or will not be happening in a scene
Orgasm Control: Controlling when and how the submissive is allowed to orgasm. See Edging
Paddling: Using a flat, hard object (such as a paddle or hairbrush) to administer spankings.
Pro-Domme: A professional Dominatrix. One who engages in dominant BDSM for money or exchange of goods.
Play: In this context, to engage in sexual and/or BDSM activity.
Restraints: Cuff-like bondage devices, often made of leather.
Sadist: One who eroticizes giving pain.
Safeword: A specially chosen word or signal to indicate if a scene is become intense or overwhelming, or that a pause in play is needed.
Scene/Session: A BDSM play encounter
Sensation Play: A variety of erotic activities that explore the senses. Can be light and sensual or heavy and pain focused.
Slave: A person with an on-going, often longterm relationship with a Dominant. May or may not be 24/7
Spanking: Striking the buttocks with the hands, either bare or gloved.
Submissive: One enjoys the experience of yielding control. May include taking orders and following codes of behavior.
Switch: One that enjoys both Dom and sub roles.
Top: The active/giving partner in sexual and/or BDSM activities. May be Dominant and/or sadistic.
Top Drop: Feelings of guilt or shame that sometimes come up for a Dominant after a BDSM session.
Topping from Below: Attempting to control the scene while in the submissive role; often done in a passive-aggressive manner. This behavior is frowned upon
Vanilla: Non-BDSM, can refer to people or sexual activity.
Whipping: Using flexible flagellation toys such as flogger, cat o'nine, crops etc
Worship: To adore the Dominant; often through physical service such as massage, kissing/licking boots and feet (or other body parts), and grooming (brushing hair, bathing, pedicures). Performing oral sex or otherwise providing sexual pleasure may or may not be a part of worship (aka Goddess Worship, Body Worship)